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Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Jo, your new flatmate

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So I might not excel in knock-knock jokes, but I do excel in being the perfect flatmate and, well, just an awesome person in general (though I might be a bit biased). I guess I'm a bit crazy too, but in a good way – not the bad kind.

Check this out:

First things first: I'm like REALLY nice. In the morning, I can tell you that you'll look beautiful/handsome, boosting your confidence and, through that, helping you have a better day and achieve bigger things. Maybe you'll even get a raise at work because of your enhanced confidence. Perhaps you'll achieve even bigger things, like running for the government or building a life-size replica of the parliament just with M&M's. (By the way, did you know that the red coloring in M&M's is made from tiny bugs that live on prickly pear cactuses? Also, apologies for ruining your favorite childhood treat.)

Ok, back from bugs to me. While my background is in advertising and marketing, I'm currently taking a break from work due to a chronic illness. This is great (the extra free time is great, not the being ill part) as it allows me to focus more on my 'art and music' (more like Netflix, let's be honest, but art and music do have a slightly nicer ring, don't they?) I hope to return to work gradually this year. But who knows, if my imaginary art and music career takes off, I might consider making a switch.

I’m tidy AF. I've been known to color-code not only my clothes but also my CDs. Remember CDs? Yeah, I'm THAT old. If you don't color-code your stuff, I'm totally cool with that. And if you’re not old enough to know what a CD is, I'm cool with that too.

Respecting others' privacy is important to me, but I'm also up for occasional communal pizza nights, games of hide and seek, water gun fights, and doing China painting together. As a flatmate, I'm all about open communication. If there's ever an issue, let's chat it out over a cup of tea, coffee, kombucha, or a bottle of wine. But like I said, since I'm pretty awesome, I don't foresee any issues arising.

Also, I love animals, like REALLY love them! So, if you happen to have, say, ten cats, dogs, or cows, that would be awesome, and I'd be happy to take them out for a walk or cat/dog/cowsit them. I am easygoing and generally get along with most people (except that I have slight trust issues with people who hate cats—seriously, what’s wrong with you?)

Oh, and I did learn how to read tarot cards last year, which told me that I would find my new dream place and dream flatmate(s) here. Yep, I'm that girl who is into woo-woo stuff. Told you I was crazy, didn't I?

So here is the new home I’m manifesting:

Ideally, I'm looking for a home in a green, leafy area. I think trees are great; they give us oxygen, and oxygen is pretty great too. As for the home, I'm seeking a modern, peaceful place to call home and I am ready to bring positivity to our shared space.

I like big rooms and I cannot lie. I'm in search of a large double room or a slightly smaller room with plenty of extra storage space outside the room, such as a garden shed or a basement—unless, of course, you need all that space for yourself to hide dead bodies. (Not sure what I think of attic storage; I tend to find attics a little scary.) I've got some pretty awesome stuff to house. Not hoarding, just downsizing (besides, it's not hoarding if your belongings are cool).

One more thing I hope we have in common: I'm all about a warm house. I know some people prefer to Wim Hof it at home with Arctic temperatures, but I like to feel cozy and comfortable in my living space.

Ok, I guess that pretty much sums up everything. I will be on the edge of my seat, eagerly awaiting your message with an electrifying enthusiasm!

Best regards,

Your future flatmate (and possibly your new best friend, your future maid of honor, godmother of your unborn child, and pallbearer at your funeral),

Jo

PS. I have a glowing reference from my current landlord of four years, attesting to my reliability in paying rent on time and keeping the home in great condition. Apologies if there are a few teardrop stains on it; he's sad about losing me.

PPS. Open to hearing about studio flats and one-bedroom flats as well (I have a slightly larger budget for these endeavors). As much as I enjoy sharing my company, I also greatly value my own fabulous company.

PPPPS. Did I mention already that I'm probably the best flatmate you're ever going to find? Comparable to Buddha or Jesus, almost. (Well, maybe Jesus would be better. I can't do the water-to-wine trick, I'm afraid.)

PPPPPS. I hope I don't come across as full of myself, but if I do, blame my parents. I'm an only child; however, since childhood, I've learned to share my belongings and have fully stopped biting people who try to borrow my things.

  • Johanna
  • 42
  • Double room wanted

Total budget: £1,000 pcm

Availability

Available
Now
Minimum term
12 months
Maximum term
None

Looking in

  • Acton, Chiswick & Hammersmith
  • Barnes & Putney
  • Brixton
  • Camden & Holloway
  • Chelsea & Fulham
  • Clapham, Battersea & Wandsworth
  • Greenwich, Blackheath & Lee
  • Hampstead & Highgate
  • Hanwell & Ealing
  • Highbury & Islington
  • Isleworth
  • Kensington & Notting Hill
  • Kingston Upon Thames
  • Maidenhead
  • Muswell Hill & Wood Green
  • Paddington & St. Johns Wood
  • Richmond
  • Staines
  • The South Bank
  • Twickenham
  • Willesden & Kilburn
  • Wimbledon
  • Windsor
  • Zone 1
  • Zone 2 - North of the River
  • Zone 2 - South of the River

Amenities required

  • furnished room
  • shared living room
  • broadband
  • washing machine

About me

Age
42
Smoker?
No
Any pets?
No
Language
English
Occupation
Other
Interests
travelling, yoga, writing, meditation, beach, spirituality, vegetarian, trying new things, spanish, entrepreneurship, personal development, mindfulness, picnics, healing

New household preferences

Smokers OK?
Yes
Pets OK?
Yes
Occupation
Don't mind
Min age
18
Max age
99
Gender
No preference specified

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