🔔 Wanted: New House Compadres 🔔

Hey. I’m Dima. I’m easy-going, polite, even tidy if that still matters to grown-ups.

The House:

Two spacious double rooms up on the first floor— already furnished with plenty more space to host your dreams, guitar, or Amazon regret purchases.

Council Tax: Band B

2 bathrooms, 1 shower. I know, life's a queue.

Kitchen/diner, XXL living room, conservatory so bright even plants get sunglasses, and a back garden that is perfect for pretending you like fresh air.

Parking: Street parking so easy even my baby nephew managed to park here.

Location: Peaceful Speedwell. Quiet. Close to St George Park and Church Road. You can walk for coffee without needing survival gear.

The situation:

I recently moved back into the house and still settling in. I also share the house with two absolute rockstars—Constanza & Cosmos (Maine Coons, brother-sister duo, fluffier than a politician’s promises). They’re basically emotional support lions who expect attention the way your phone expects you to stare at it every ten seconds..

I work shifts - days, lates, nights merging into mornings - so while I’m out working odd hours, it would be nice to have an interim CEO of Cat Cuddles. If you work from home, congrats: you just became middle management at Kitty Corp.

I’m after 23-45ish mildly professional, definitely human, who can hold a conversation, maybe laugh when the smoke alarm starts ringing, and rinse their plates like they owe you money.

Sound like you? Send a message with:

1. A quick intro—job, schedule, favorite conspiracy theory, whatever.
2. Proof you’ve lived with other humans and no one died (legally).

Ta!