House of wonderment in Stoke Newington

Our calm and beautiful house has a good size double room coming up (approx 3.7 x 3.9m) with lots of light. It has a double bed, hanging space for clothes, a little chest of drawers and shelves, leaving plenty of room to add a desk/operating table depending on your hobbies.

We hold a very strict open border policy here and welcome applicants from anywhere in the world. Unless you're English (as I am) and I am afraid you will be obliged for fill out a small booklet of forms each time you pass from the kitchen to the garden, or the loo to the livingroom. Jacopo being Italian is free to go where he pleases.

‘among those new streets PETHERTON ROAD may be pointed out as one of the noblest in this or any part of the Metropolis.’ ..noted in the Annual Report of the Vestry for 1881.

Now concentrate for a minute - bills come to about £100 extra. Even if you're the BEST THING EVER we still cant afford to pay for you.

We are tenants (me Kerry and Jacopo)- though the flat is a proper home and not remotely like a normal rented place. Minimalism can sod off, we have STUFF - plants, paintings, bits and bobs and Bob's bits, anywhere there's a gap.
We want you to be part of the home, not someone that just gets to live somewhere beautiful and show it off to various ‘conquests’ but to get yourself jammed in like one of bob’s bits and be fully part of it. Though we're not insane, time alone is the glue, we socialise with each other when we can be bothered, not as the default.

The place is not a house of parties but occasional dinner parties and it would be nice if you’d be happy eating with a very nice group of people from time to time, though this is largely in the summer on the nice big table in the nice garden.

About us - If you get knocked off your bike, we will care for you. If you are sad we'll bring you a little glass of wine. Or otherwise we will laugh with you and sometimes at you. If you are doing your own thing, we will ignore you. We are excellent.
We'd rather you were female, or at least mainly female but whatever percentage of female you are, perceptive, favour being decent over earnestly insisting you are, and a little mirthful, and maybe have access to a nice holiday home we can all use, or a pony.
While it is absolutely fine if you are not into politics, if you are, it's probably a very good idea if you don't actively side with the right, Israel over Palestine or Isis or any other rampant fascist doctrine. Domestic civil war is a terrible terrible thing.

We are not loud people, but quietly silly. Drama is reserved for dramatic situations, which can be expressed by the raising of one brow.

I am the evil dictator of the music as I have exquisite taste, you probably wont have.

Self mockery is a crucial requirement.

In a period house, your windows look over the garden, at trees and monstrous children at the school behind (little blighters). The house has 4 communal spaces, a living room/kitchen, a wobbly conservatory -'The Bananary' (built to keep the banana plant alive during the winter and then we took over with sofas and eating etc), a tiny dining room and a beautiful garden with a pergola and all sorts of pretentious wot nots (plants meant for more exotic climes). Less communal is the bathroom with a shower and a bath tub, and a second loo.
Washing machine, dishwasher, broadband, secure bike storage and running water.

So, be calm and a little shiny and brilliant please and really, please don’t apply if you are under 32, or I’ll have to assume you are not even bright enough to have read the description of your new potential home, your haven and the place that’s generally rather key to your wellbeing. Oh and please dont apply if you think cleaning means just washing whatever you just used to eat, some things get grubby all by themselves you know..

The move in date is between now and 5th August.
Rather terribly I'm afraid we'll do zoom meetings before we have proper viewings.
And the bills come to a little over £100 per month (just in case you nodded off again).
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