🔔 Wanted: New House Compadres 🔔

Hey. We are Dima (34M) and Armand (25M). We are easy-going, polite, even tidy if that still matters to grown-ups. I work shifts - days, lates, nights merging into mornings - and Armand works the normal 9-5 hours.

The House:

A spacious double bedroom up on the first floor— already furnished with plenty more space to host your dreams, guitar, or Amazon regret purchases.

Council Tax: Band B

2 bathrooms, 1 shower. I know, life's a queue.

Kitchen/diner, XXL living room, conservatory so bright even plants get sunglasses, and a back garden that is perfect for pretending you like fresh air.

Parking: Street parking so easy even my baby nephew managed to park here.

Location: Peaceful Speedwell. Quiet. Close to St George Park and Church Road. You can walk for coffee without needing survival gear.

The situation:

We share the house with two absolute rockstars—Constanza & Cosmos (Maine Coons, brother-sister duo, fluffier than a politician’s promises). They’re basically emotional support lions who expect attention the way your phone expects you to stare at it every ten seconds. Thus it would be nice to have an interim CEO of Cat Cuddles. If you work from home, congrats: you just became middle management at Kitty Corp.

We are after 23-45ish mildly professional, definitely human, who can hold a conversation, maybe laugh when the smoke alarm starts ringing, and rinse their plates like they owe you money.

Sound like you? Send a message with:

1. A quick intro—job, schedule, favorite conspiracy theory, whatever.
2. Proof you’ve lived with other humans and no one died (legally).

Ta!